unfilled

emtpy. hollow. void. misunderstandings. unappreciative. unheard voices. broken.

because of

lack of faith

and trust?

God please fill me once again.

regret you not

just try your best to find the way
to unearth all the latent capacity in you
to maximise your strength and talent
to shine the beauty of Christ in you
I'm sure someone will be inspired
by the way you learn total dependency on God
Ensuring you still
that i do care and support you all the way
to journey all the way
to the heights of your joy and sorrow i would share
and so regret you not
for thy hope is not blighted in the Lord.

Hold on

May God's heartbeat be audible to you,
Your own passion converges with His,
No matter how hard it is,
I believe someday you are able to,
As long as you seek His face,
And keep your faith unwavering.
Let Him draw closer to you,
As i may not always be able to,
May He lavish on all that you desire,
And I wish you Jesus in what may come your way.

the unresolved remains the same

"Never dwell in your past". That is what many people told me to do. Is that easy for me? I am seriously not able to and those pain surfaced again the other day that led me to vent my frustration in my church's washroom because of the unresolved issues within me that have pierced me through deeply. Many songs drown me into reminiscing the past. Unpleasant ones. Also the blissful ones. Conversation of the past is still heard. Pictures unceasingly flooded into the mind's eye. Nothing change? or am i still back there? Bring me back to where i belong please...

one of life's toughest lessons

Learning to say "NO" is one of the life's toughest lessons. Does it sound agreeable to you?

Empty it is

Remarkably astonished. I was left stupefied. Mercilessly, he gave me a hard time to think of what to write. Shrugging my shoulders, sighing the two hours after all in the ice box(exam hall). The Pen refused to harvest this unteeming brain of mine. It's crappable for this seemingly empty and void mind to simply scribble any possible, irrelevant answers that came out of this faculty. Most importantly, give thanks to my Shepherd who granted me the opportunity to learn what i could from this process of preparing for exams.

Enough is enough

Hard to believe this, that i have been rereading those notes for the past few days and by God's grace it should suffice to face tomorrow. Honestly, it wasn't really a strenuous revision, it's just that i forced myself to read comprehensively without having to memorise word for word. Slow learner like me has to take lengthy of time to assimilate the text and some extra annotated notes provided. Thanks to technology nowadays. This time is different because the literary works that im working are quite political and philosophical. "Hamlet" is killing me as well as Hardy's poems. Now i feel enough is enough, although my mind is blank now...why study in the first place? i'm still wondering...

blessings drop incessantly

These pictures were captured on 1st of April which my housemates and i supposedly to celebrate our ever first April Fool together. That's what they told me. Asking me to dress up as we would be going to dine in a virtually fine restaurant. Chronologically here shows what took place that particular day:



And so this was the centre of attention..(so perasan me)

and once we had finished partaking our luscious food..



jeng...jeng...jeng...



a birthday song was sang to Desmond..so embarassed me..aww...after making me to stand on the chair and everyone's eye was on me because they sang louder than the karaoke!

well, fine, i have got the culprit here!!the mr.bumble bee in our house..



what happened later?of course cake cutting ceremony..and presenting to you the supposedly April fool cake..







Don't laugh..this was what my first expression the moment i put the piece of cake into my mouth..but it didn't mean that it was not delicious..

Then we proceed to our crappy game..and desmond gave me the reserved tag which i wasn't supposed to be the person to receive it..but ultimately it got back to the "person"..=)



housemates outside the "izzi" restaurant..wonder why we never looked at the camera?



my siblings..



and some extended relationship of course but why david pek appeared in the picture?hmm..i wonder...



and eventually all of us except my sis, the skillful camera lady..



At home and it's my last birthday picture in B208 with Puiyee and Chris before the strip off their status as residents in B208..



Will miss all these..=,(

It is done!

It is finished!!Phew!!!...

i want to be where i want to be

busy,hectic,engaged,occupied,absorbed,engrossed..playing with the thesaurus trying to find the most appropriate word to elucidate my state of mind...
so, how am i now?Despite losing my enthusiasm and motivation under this perpetual torture of completing assignment, i know i will have to dispel this kind of mentality of not being able to finish it. It bogs me down. Dismissing the indifference to my spiritual growth is another increasing struggle.
Anyway, im still fighting the battle.
My soul needs to find a place to rest ultimately.
Cheers!